As I mentioned in my previous post, I have been speaking with a lot of Syrian refugees, and the process is becoming more familiar and fine-tuned with each day. I meet a family, I tell them about the school I want to open in their town, and I explain that in order to raise money for the school I am shooting a documentary about their situation. Most people I have encountered are at least somewhat receptive, some are not. All are initially afraid and hesitant to be filmed. They fear reprisal from the Syrian government, even though I don’t ask them about their views of the government or whether they are pro-regime or pro-revolution. I have witnessed the tight grasp the regime still holds on its citizens, even when these citizens find themselves in small, out-of-the-way places in a different country. And it saddens me to think that in addition to already struggling to feed their families and keep a roof over their heads, these people are also dealing with this constant fear that their government might send soldiers to kill them for betraying the regime. Needless to say, I often see fright and apprehension in their eyes when I mention my desire to film them.
However, after talking through their concerns, their eyes start to change as they digest what I’ve just told them. I am going to open a school in their town. Their children, many of whom haven’t attended a single class for the past two years, will have a place again to go to learn. I watch as the concern melts away, and the flame of fear in their eyes is extinguished, replaced by a much brighter flame, one of hope. I see this bright new flame and it instantly triggers two opposing feelings within me, first a fleeting joy, because I’ve made them happy, but then a lingering fear. I’m afraid because the gravity of what I have told these people sets in, and at some point I realize that I am the originator of this new hope. I brought it into existence, and because I did so, I will also be responsible for its destruction if I fail to follow through on my promise to open a school for these children. This thought weighs on me constantly.
I feel like weeping because i know this feeling all too well. That look of possibility, that heaviness of responsibility. But i also know you. I know your determination. Your quite courage. The depth of your compassion. You can do this. You will make this happen for these brave and beautiful people. And not only will you be their hope, but the life line to their brighter future. Dont give up. Dont let the discouragement of their situation, or the fear of yours, enable your work. All of your experiences with communication, people, travel, film, photography, etc will culminate in this one extraordinary endeavor. Believe in yourself. In them. Find the flame of hope in your own eyes!